When I am angry it is not because of what just happened, but the preceding incident(s). For example, I was angry today when I reached out my hand to introduce myself to someone and they didn’t shake my hand. Was I angry that the person didn’t shake my hand?…YES, but also at how I felt rejected and inadequate. If I go deeper, it is because I have felt those same feelings before and I associated the previous occurrence with today’s incident.
Think about the last time you were angry. For some of us, like myself, it was today. Figure out the root of the anger. Why did you allow the situation or person to upset you? Write it down so you can see the underlying hurt.
Then the next time you are about to “blow your top,” stop and tell yourself. “Deal with this situation only, not the story I have made up in my head” based on previous experiences. Then you will have control, and the anger will not control you.
The best book I have read so far on managing emotions is Life Without Strife by Joyce Meyer. To learn more about her book and others on the topic visit here.
I’d like to hear your thoughts…post below