What Is The Root Of Your Anger?

What Is The Root Of Your Anger-

When I am angry it is not because of what just happened, but the preceding incident(s). For example, I was angry today when I reached out my hand to introduce myself to someone and they didn’t shake my hand. Was I angry that the person didn’t shake my hand?…YES, but also at how I felt rejected and inadequate. If I go deeper, it is because I have felt those same feelings before and I associated the previous occurrence with today’s incident.

Think about the last time you were angry. For some of us, like myself, it was today.  Figure out the root of the anger. Why did you allow the situation or person to upset you? Write it down so you can see the underlying hurt.

Then the next time you are about to “blow your top,” stop and tell yourself. “Deal with this situation only, not the story I have made up in my head” based on previous experiences. Then you will have control, and the anger will not control you.

The best book I have read so far on managing emotions is Life Without Strife by Joyce Meyer. To learn more about her book and others on the topic visit here.

I’d like to hear your thoughts…post below


  1. This is great advice. Years ago when I was trying to quit a bad habit (alright, I’ll admit, it was cigarettes), I started journaling about how I felt when I had a craving. As it turned out, the main trigger was disappointment– isn’t that strange?–a surprising but very helpful realization.

  2. Good idea. It helps to know the root cause of our actions and reactions especially if we are trying to get a grip over some issues. I am relearning certain things and one of that is knowing that I am responsible for how I choose to react to someone’s actions.

  3. Jacqueline, I sent you an email by the way to your gmail account. Please get back to me when you can. Your response is so powerful. I am responsible, oh that hurts! So true so true!

  4. That is really great advice. Not only will thinking that help with the situation, but it will probably give you enough time to cool off a little too. Thank you!

  5. The last time I was really angry was last Friday, when I spoke to a relative. She tries to pass herself off as “nice” but she’s really toxic. I know I must accept that she won’t change and control how much contact I have with this person.

    A book I’m reading advises to remove all meaning from a situation and accept things for what they are. Things happen and when we associate negative meaning to them, we attract more of the same. I’m slowly learning to stop fighting or resisting what happens and stop focusing on the negativity.

    Good article! I think there’s too much anger/hatred in the world and that we should be more more mindful of our reactions to things.

  6. Yes, thank you for shedding more light into this topic. I hope your relative heals from her issues that causes her to be so toxic. I have a similar situation and its super hard because they’re family. Whats the name of the book? Thanks for sharing.

  7. I agree ~ it is hard when you’re dealing with a toxic family member. Having said that, I have had to make the decision to distance myself because of my past experiences with abuse. When I fled my situation, I vowed to myself that I was NEVER going to accept abuse from anyone else ever again, family included.

    Here’s the link to the book. It’s a very good one and it’s totally working for me! http://amzn.to/1RdsyPC

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s