The “Art” of The No-Show: Do You Have to Update Your RSVP in Social or Business Networking Groups?

No-show: a person who has made a reservation, booking, or appointment but neither keeps nor cancels it.


If you are going to a networking or social event that you found on Facebook or do you have to update your RSVP if you decide not to go before the meeting/event starts?

Let’s begin with the social situations…

I often organize social events and as the organizer one of my roles is to find a location and space to hold the amount of people that RSVP. When 22 people RSVP that they are attending and only 8 show up. Restaurants are furious because they have based their staff on our reservation and now they have lost money and I have lost our good name. What if I want to make a reservation at that restaurant for a personal reason or need a sponsor for an event I am hosting, I can no longer request this of the management or owner because it has tarnished my name. It only takes a moment to update your RSVP and preferably 48 hours in advance so that the organizer can update the reservation.

What does it say about the no-show?

As a business person and a psychology graduate I am always watching the behavior of people when they think no one is looking. This says or screams to me that the person thinks they are unimportant and they won’t be missed, this also says that the person has never been an organizer of anything; last, this says that this person has no regard for my time or the restaurant, it also screams selfishness.

no-time-wasting-md no show

I can hear your defensiveness now, I was sick, I was tired, I had to study, I, I, I, again selfish. 98% of people are not too sick to update their RSVP. I see people posting on Facebook all the time, I am sick as a dog. Please don’t be defensive here. Let’s learn from this and be and do better people. Think of others.

Moving on to business no-shows…

As a business owner, I know that my name means everything. When people trust you they are willing to spend money with your business. So if we know this how could we no-show for a business event?

I know what you are thinking “oh, that networking event is more like a social thing, it’s not mandatory that I attend.” No, it is not mandatory that you attend but it is mandatory that you update your RSVP for the same reasons above and it is even more important because why would I spend my money with you if I can’t event trust you to keep your word? Even if you don’t follow Christian principles or the Bible you will get this. The Bible says let your yes, be your yes and your no, be your no (Matthew 5:37). Let’s be a woman or man of our word. We have always said “your word is your bond.”

A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold (Proverbs 22:1).

Now, in the case of Facebook events… People are notorious for signing up and forgetting what they signed up for. So what I started doing was signing up as a maybe so that way if I go or don’t go, I am good and so is the event planner. If I sign up as a yes, I write it in my written planner so I don’t forget.

no-shows (1)

Event planners have to buy food, gifts, table settings all of that to accommodate guests. We don’t ever want to run out so we normally buy more than we need. So this can create waste especially if over half the people that say they were coming don’t show.

I have even rented rooms based on the RSVPs larger than what I needed to rent. Room rentals are expensive and I could have saved money renting a smaller venue.

Okay, so you have heard enough. You are saying “okay, already.” So, I’ll shut up and give you the information from the article I read.


Richie Frieman, Modern Manners Guy says…

“when you tell someone you’re going to be somewhere, and then don’t show up, you stand to lose tons of respect. Period.  I understand that unexpected things happen, but there is no excuse (with all the technology available to us today) for not letting your [ other party] know that you need to reschedule – this goes for both personal and professional meetings. – See more at:

“So I thought she was supposed to be the Positive Black Woman, wasn’t nothing positive about that post, in fact I am mad!” I am sorry your upset, but it is important for all of us to grow in areas that we are weak in. Remember, you may be causing a restaurant, dental office, small business owner to lose revenue which could affect someone’s family or you may be causing an event planner’s name to be tarnished.  No one is perfect, but can we please try to do better in this area which is preventable? This post is to increase awareness and help us change to create positive business and social relationships.

Resources for Organizers and Restaurant Owners on Dealing With No-shows:

For organizers, keep your head up there are tips on limiting the no-shows:


  1. Love this post! I’ve recently held two events this past weekend. Everyone RSVP’d a month in advance, but there were still a handful who caneclled/no showed. This upset me, because I did still see them posting on social media, but I wasn’t notified. How rude, and unprofessional.

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