Am I Lovable?

A couple of months ago, a guest writer submitted an article that addressed women calling them to work on healing before entering into another relationship. One statement about women Author, Gerald Dean presented was “You have been hurt time and time again and need to heal before I can properly love you.”

It took me a while to digest a man being so honest, but now I am ready to respond. I believe a response is necessary for all women to learn how to heal. It is not something taught in college, unfortunately.

What did Gerald mean? I took his statement as there are so many layers of hurt in some of us, no matter how hard some men try, they cannot reach our hearts. I believe he also meant that we don’t have to be superwoman in a relationship and it is okay to let ourselves love again. What does this mean for us as women? We need to trust our judgment. We are given warning signs, call it intuition or call it God. The warnings are there and if they are not, trust that too. If you sense a prompting to continue in a relationship, continue even if he is not your usual type. Your usual type hurts you so move away fast.

In one article listed below, Rae says “Rather than continuing on our negative spiral of conflict, focusing only the wrongs that had been done to us, we needed to step back and be honest with ourselves about our own roles in the relationship conflict.” Let’s stop there. Do you/we as women access our wrongs in the relationship or do we blame ignoring how we should grow from the experience?

Rae continues that we need “to realize that our own behavior is the only thing we can control, and it was our own actions that needed to change to move us to a better place.”

I believe in the law of attraction and that we attract what we have inside of us and if there is buried pain, lack of self-esteem or self-worth you will attract a dressed up man with those same issues. Deal with your issues. I have included a few articles to help in the healing process.

Healing Resources:


  1. You’re right – and not just women – men too!

    It’s too easy to brood on things that have hurt us but it only prolongs the agony. I know I’ve been guilty of it. I’m not saying we shouldn’t think, or let time gradually heal us, but I try to watch out for circular thoughts – the ones that go nowhere but just wind any problems more tightly in. They are a real no-no for me these days and I believe I’m happier for it.

  2. This is really inspiring and I feel it is true for both men and women. We need to heal first and accept responsibilities for our hearts and then we attract more positive things in our lives. Thanks for sharing this. A wonderful read.

    LOve and light ❤
    Anand 🙂

  3. Good article and comments. However some of us have been captured by narcissistic abuse and have lost all objectivity. I’m struggling just get through everyday.

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